G-U-I-L-T-Y

I feel guilty.
I AM A BAD, BAD PERSON.
Maybe I deserved this.


Huh !!!
*Sigh*
It is hard to make everybody around you happy especially when you dont have the power to take control over the situation. Your heart/instinct desperately want to make them happy but the truth is you failed and hurt them unnecessarily. Well maybe i deserve this, or tell me Guest? how do you overcome this situation if you were in my shoes.

The ironic part every weekend is either fully-booked attending hari raya open house or hosting one. Mind you, IT IS SCHOOL HOLIDAY WHICH MEANS WEDDING CEREMONIES SEASON. My god, and at this age (26) is the peak time when everybody decided to get married. It's like a circle and one by one of your friends tied the knot and start the wonderful marriage life.

Let me brief you my situation.
Last saturday I had 2 wedding invitations and 2 open house invitations. All the invitations start from noon until 4/5 pm.

One of the wedding is from my ex-skool mate Ms Azna. She is getting married to her boyfriend whom she has known for the past 7/8 years. Me and Ms Azna grew up in the same neighbourhood, we went to the same school and share the circle-friends. We keep in touch on and off but we still do see each other once in a while despite my err family schedules. Her wedding reception is at Dewan Guthrie, Bukit Jelutong.

The other wedding invitation is from my friend Ms Khadijah whom I known back in Loughborough, UK. Ms Khadijah is my senior and she graduated in 2001. She went back for good to Malaysia and I havent met her ever since. The only way we keep in touch via MSN Messenger and now we sms or call occasionally. She told me several times, and insist that I come to her reception. I told her I will come InsyaAllah. Her wedding reception is at UIA, Gombak.

When I received the third invitation for last saturday I told her I barely can make it for this one. She insist I still come and out of politeness I told her "I will talk to my husband and see if we can squeeze yours late evening". This lady is my office mate, I chat with her via (YM) almost everyday and we seem to get along very well. She desperately want a female friend (being the only programmer in her dept), me on the other hand, want a friend whom I can share my cyber-interest and mundane life. She lives in Klang.

---

Saturday came. And errrr it didnt turned out as I have expected. In fact I am feeling guilty until now and dont know what should I do to make it up.

We arrived at Dewan Guthrie, Bukit Jelutong around 2pm. I was surprised and excited to meet my old skoolmates again. We update on our life, gossips, take loads of picture and before I realised it is nearly 4pm. Uhhhh I panicked, I told my hubby and he told me we cant make it to the other kenduri/open house. I have to go see a doctor and she is only available from 3-5pm. In the end I attended only ONE kenduri kahwin and NONE open house invitation :(

I am a bad friend. *sigh*
I missed the opportunity to see Ms Khadijah in her wedding dress. I feel bad if she really has been waiting/expecting me. I still have her wedding present in my house untouched, and nicely wrap with a small congratulations card on it.

My office mate doesnt want to chat with me today.
I sms-ed her last weekend and she didn't reply. I know she really hope I could make it to her raya open house.

The problem is, I do want to go but DH is the one who make the decision. After all he is the one who is driving, he controls the journey as well as our plan for the day.
DH told me it is impossible for me to attend all the kenduri/open house.
Perhaps, I will make it if I dont have to go see the doctor ? Or perhaps it is better to come, although when the ceremony finished rather than didnt come at all. Like the saying "Better late than never" :(